Perfectly Routine
by Mud6
Summary: Remember Charlie, that Reetou kid? Well, he's in trouble, and SG-1 have to dash off to the rescue. As usual. Gratuitous everybody-whumping. There might be one or two subtle spoilers, but nothing blatant.


Perfectly Routine

The morning started much as any other, with Colonel Jack O'Neill signing in at the Cheyenne Mountain complex, feeling a pang of guilt because he didn't know the name of the airman manning the desk. The man had worked there for some time, and come hell or high water or alien invasions, he was at his post every time Jack walked past, but still, Jack couldn't greet him by name. He was sure he wasn't alone – in fact, he would have been surprised if anyone in the complex called the man anything other than "airman". Still, he felt guilty.

"Have a good day there-" he glanced at the man's nametag, and gave up immediately – "airman," he finished lamely.

"Thank you, sir," the airman replied without rancour. Perhaps he'd forgotten his own name.

It wasn't his fault, Jack mused as he entered the elevator and selected a floor. It was absolutely criminal to put an 'x', a 'z' and three 'y's in one word; not even Daniel could pronounce it. Never mind. He had other things to worry about at the moment: he was due in a briefing in ten minutes, which meant he didn't have enough time to load up on coffee to keep him awake through Carter's speeches. And he needed to be awake, despite the impending boredom, because it was unseemly for an officer to fall asleep in such situations. Even if it promised to be a horrendously long briefing culminating in a trip to P3G-227 for a thrilling mineral survey. He would just have to make use of his many years of military training to stay alert.

**

__

So... bored... Brain... shutting... down...

General Hammond closed one eye, squinting the other in an attempt to focus his attention. Unfortunately, the change in expression attracted the attention of Sam Carter, who interrupted her explanation of what kind of rocks they were likely to find on this particular planet, and looked at him with concern. "Are you all right, sir?"

Hammond hurriedly opened both eyes and sat up a little straighter. "I'm fine, Major. Just-" he gestured vaguely – "a little dust in my... Please, continue."

"Yes, sir. Actually, I was finished, sir."

"Oh. In that case, what do you say, Colonel, do you want to go on a trip?" Hammond turned to the commander of SG1, only to see the man leaning back in his chair, tossing a crumpled ball of paper to the ceiling and catching it again. As Hammond watched, O'Neill threw the paper a smidgen too hard, and it bounced off the ceiling and deflected, forcing O'Neill to lean precariously to the side to catch it. Somehow he managed to keep his chair balanced, and straightened, errant ball of paper triumphantly in hand.

"Colonel O'Neill does not appear to be listening," Teal'c observed mildly.

O'Neill flicked the paper at the Jaffa, who let it bounce off his chest and gave his commander a raised eyebrow of gentle rebuke. "Colonel O'Neill is listening. Colonel O'Neill is bored. Sorry, sir," he added, glancing at Hammond. "I'm fighting an overwhelming feeling of déjà vu."

"Déjà vu?" Dr Jackson grinned.

"The depressing feeling that I've sat through this briefing before. Not in a time loop kinda way, but in a same-damn-thing-every-time kinda way."

"Colonel-"

"Sir, do we _really_ have to conduct another mineral survey? Daniel gets so bored."

Dr Jackson frowned, disgruntled at being used as an excuse. Hammond was saved from having to order his second-in-command to conduct the survey when the base alert sirens started blaring. 

"Alert: unauthorised incoming traveller."

SG1 immediately leapt to their feet and bolted. Hammond took the time to roll his eyes at the interruption, sigh heavily, and shake his head dramatically, before following them to the observation room.

**

"It's the Tok'ra, sir," Major Carter told him as he entered.

"Open the – oh." Hammond scowled as he noticed that the iris was already open. Unfortunately, he didn't get a chance to yell at anyone, because SG1 was already on their way to the 'gate room. With another long-suffering sigh and another shake of the head, he followed.

He reached the 'gate room just as Jacob Carter emerged from the wormhole. The General looked tired, worried, and... slightly afraid. 

Major Carter noticed it too. "What is it, Dad?" she asked, skipping the usual greeting.

Jacob glanced at her, smiled wanly, then looked at Hammond. "We have a bit of a situation."

Hammond resisted the urge to sigh yet again. "Let's go to the briefing room."

**

Jacob sat in the chair nearest the door, staring at his hands. Eventually, Hammond cleared his throat.

"Jacob, you said we had a situation."

Jacob started, looked at him. "Oh. Yes."

"Well?" O'Neill made a 'go-ahead' motion with his hand, leaning forward expectantly.

"Yes. Well, as you know, we've been looking for a planet suitable for a new Tok'ra base, and someone suggested that a good cover would be to choose a planet that was already inhabited, since that's something that we've never done."

"Whose bright idea was that?" O'Neill put in. "Did you all conveniently forget that the planets on which you build your bases tend to end up being bombed into oblivion?"

"We haven't forgotten," Jacob said quietly. "I happen to agree with you; it was a stupid idea. But, it's not important whose idea it was. What _is_ important is that it was decided to look into the proposal, so we selected a few possibilities and went to check them out. One of the suggestions was a small planet colonised by a few thousand people, humans. A hundred and fifty years ago a few operatives went there, suspecting that a goa'uld system lord was hiding out in the area, but we didn't find any signs of goa'uld interference. The people were incredibly friendly, helpful, polite. So peaceful, I mean, they didn't comprehend the concept of war. Not advanced, technologically speaking. We're talking fourteen hundreds level, here."

"What language do they speak?" Dr Jackson wanted to know.

"English, actually."

"Now, see, that's just odd. If they're human they come from Earth, but from so long ago that English as we know it couldn't have existed. How is it so many people in the galaxy wind up speaking a language we can understand? Why would their language evolution follow the same pattern as ours?" Dr Jackson was really getting into his rant now, gesturing wildly, eyes wide with interest, addressing most of his comments to Major Carter. "Most of the places we go, I don't need to translate anything! Do you think maybe people are, are, I don't know, genetically programmed so that their language evolves in similar ways? But then, what about Abydos, and the other planets that _don't_ speak any modern Earth languages?"

"Just lucky, I guess," O'Neill said dryly.

"That's a little off-topic, Daniel," Major Carter admonished. 

"Sorry," said Dr Jackson, looking crestfallen.

Hammond was willing to get the conversation back on track. "Jacob, you were saying?"

"Yeah. One of the people was dying, he volunteered to be a host, which is why we felt fairly certain that the people would agree to our cohabiting the planet."

"And they didn't?"

"No. They... The goa'uld must have been through the gate at least once. What used to be a village has become a city... No, a fortress. Their level of technology has advanced to the point where their weapons, warfare capability, equal yours, although everything else seems to be lagging behind a great deal."

"That's fascinating," Dr Jackson interjected. "I wonder what kind of effect it would have on the culture to be so advanced in one area and not in the others. And in such a short space of time! There must be drawbacks."

Jacob hastened to forestall another rant. "They've become suspicious. There's a theory that they made such huge advances so quickly so that they would be able to fight the goa'uld if they came back. We sent three operatives, one the new host for Narak, the symbiote that until recently was hosted by the man from that planet. Two escaped, the other was captured."

"And you want us to mount a rescue mission?" 

"We'd do it ourselves, but the two operatives that escaped were injured, and all our other people are busy, I shouldn't even be here myself. We thought you might _want_ to mount a rescue, when you heard... When you heard who the host is."

Everyone around the table narrowed their eyes simultaneously. It was Dr Jackson that took the initiative. "Who's the host?"

Jacob focused his gaze on the centre of the table. "Charlie. The Reetou boy."

Ah. So that was why he had looked afraid – he'd been worried that O'Neill would kill him. It also explained why Selmac had been letting her host do all the talking. The fear had been justified, apparently: before anyone else could make a move, O'Neill was out of his seat, one hand pinning Jacob to his chair, the other around his neck, pushing backwards.

"You sent a kid on a dangerous mission?" he snarled.

"It wasn't supposed to be dangerous," Jacob managed to choke out. "And he volunteered, Jack. Narak was the only one that knew anything about the planet-"

"He's a _kid_!" O'Neill shouted.

"Colonel!" Hammond said sharply.

O'Neill looked over at him, blinked once, and straightened slowly, releasing Jacob. "Sir, permission to-"

"Permission granted."

O'Neill glared down at Jacob, raising a warning finger. "I'm not gonna kill you, because you're Sam's dad. But when we get back, you and I are gonna have a little talk. And if the kid is dead, you'd better hope we don't get back." With that, he spun around and stalked out. Major Carter shot her father an indecipherable look before following, Dr Jackson and Teal'c trailing after her.

**

Daniel was worried. Well, they were all worried, but he was willing to bet that he was more worried than the rest of them. Teal'c and Sam were subdued, and Jack had said nothing at all not related to their rescue plan. That was one reason he was worried. The plan seemed very flimsy to him, which was another reason he was worried. Of course, there were probably subtleties he didn't get, because he wasn't military – and that was the last reason he was worried. Still, far be it from him to protest at the idea of sending only one team into what by all accounts was a city filled with hostile, well-armed people with itchy trigger-fingers. Or rather, he had protested mightily, but no one had listened. Apparently there was no time for a well-thought-out, _not_ insane plan. A perfectly routine mission, then. Despite his nervousness, he stepped through the 'gate without hesitation.

As he emerged on the other side, Jack and Sam were already scanning the horizon for signs of danger. Teal'c started doing the same the moment he came through behind Daniel, who tried to look as though he didn't feel completely useless. Not that anyone was looking at him. There were no trees that he could see. They were on the peak of a hill overlooking plains of grass, as far as the eye could see. And it was cold. He shivered.

"I guess that's where we're headed," Jack said, handing his binoculars to Daniel and pointing west. 

Daniel raised the binoculars, squinted, and thought that maybe, just maybe, he could make out a glint that might be sunlight bouncing off some kind of reflective surface. "Okay," he said, neutrally.

Teal'c was also peering through binoculars, in the same direction. "That is indeed our destination."

Daniel was willing to accept the evidence of Teal'c's superior sight. His shoulders sagged as he contemplated the distance they would have to cover. "We should probably start walking, then."

As it turned out, they didn't have to walk for long. After five minutes, Teal'c stopped short and pointed at the sky. Daniel looked up, and made out an aircraft of some kind, approaching fast – very fast. Less than a minute later, it reached them, executed an impressive 180 degree spin, and dropped vertically downward to come to a gentle rest ten feet in front of them. The craft was about the size of an army transport helicopter, white, with a pointed nose and random pointless-looking flaps here and there. As they examined it, a ramp shot out horizontally, then the end dropped, slamming to the ground just _two _feet in front of them. There was a whirring sound, and a door opened at the top of the ramp.

SG1 exchanged glances, and waited. Jack shifted from foot to foot. Sam looked over her shoulder in the direction from which they had come, then quickly back to the craft. Teal'c stood motionless, looking faintly uninterested.. 

Daniel cleared his throat. "Hello? We're peaceful explorers from Earth!"

A figure, clearly human, appeared in the doorway, hesitated, then descended the ramp, coming to a regal stop directly in front of Jack. He eyed them in silence, giving them plenty of time to take in his military style of dress, and the rifle-esque weapon he held.

"Daniel?"

Naturally. It was always up to him to break the awkward silences. "Um, hi."

"Yeah," Jack said sarcastically. "That's what we pay you for, all right."

Daniel refrained from scowling in reply, worried that the stranger would take it the wrong way. "We, we came through the Stargate," he said, pointing over his shoulder. "We're explorers. Peaceful. Um. Are you understanding me at all?"

"I am not an imbecile," the stranger replied calmly. "You came through the circle. Why?"

"Well, like I said, we're explorers..."

"Are you? Or perhaps you are the demons, hmm? Come to take more of our people."

Daniel was very, very glad that they had left all their goa'uld weapons behind, reasoning that the people at their destination would have valid issues about trusting them if they carried enemy firearms. "Oh! You _do_ know the goa'uld! No, they're our enemies too. In fact, we'd like to discuss an exchange of technology. Maybe we can help each other fight them."

The stranger regarded him emotionlessly, then gestured at Teal'c with the barrel of his rifle. "You may be human. He is not."

"Technically, no, he's a Jaffa, but he's turned against the goa'uld, he's helping us."

The stranger nodded once, then turned his attention to Jack's P-90. "That is a weapon?"

"Yeah."

"May I see?"

Slightly taken aback by the polite request, Daniel nevertheless said, "He'd be happy to show you, right, Jack?"

"Hey, you show me yours, I'll show you mine," Jack shrugged. When the stranger gave him a confused look, he clarified: "The key word is _exchange_ of technology."

The stranger nodded once. "I will have to consult my superiors. Please come with me." He turned without waiting for a reply, and led the way onto the craft. SG1 followed obediently.

The inside of the craft was spare. A long, low bench was bolted to each side, and there were two uncomfortable-looking chairs in the... cockpit, for want of a better word, although it was not separated from the rest of the craft in any way other than the seating. The nose and floor of the craft was made entirely of a transparent substance, which only worked one way, since from the outside it looked solid. It had one thing going for it: it was warm.

"Shotgun!" announced Jack, sliding into the seat beside the stranger, who was already pressing buttons.

Daniel examined the rest of the craft in minute detail. It didn't take long. There was very little detail to examine. When he was satisfied that there were no hidden gadgets that would jump out and bite him during the trip, he settled on the bench across from Sam and Teal'c. It took four minutes to reach the city that Teal'c had only just been able to make out with the binoculars. This meant that the team had very little time to admire the place as they flew towards it, since by the time they were able to make out anything other than the towering grey walls, they were already landing. It was big, that was the only impression Daniel got, and well-fortified, easy to defend. The landing strip was actually a small field surrounded by a light fence on three sides, with an immense building completing the enclosure. There were four other aircraft, identical to theirs, in the enclosure.

On the ground they were escorted without fanfare through a door on the side of the building, which was the same dreary grey as the walls around the city. For a long time, they were led hither and thither in pristine white corridors with tiled floors. Every now and then they would pass a three-man patrol, tramping along in perfect formation. Eventually they reached a door that looked exactly like every other door they had passed. The stranger, who was still escorting them, knocked once and entered, gesturing for them to come along.

The door led to an office, a big one, with a desk near the back. Behind the desk sat a grey-haired official-looking fellow with a handlebar moustache, who seemed irritated by the intrusion. "Yes, Nuril, what is it?"

"Sir, these people arrived through the gate, sir."

The official tilted his head back slightly. "Ah? Are they snakeheads?"

Jack leaned over to Daniel to whisper, "I like this guy already."

Daniel grinned, relieved that Jack was making non-plan-related jokes.

"The alarms haven't gone off, sir, although the scans show this one-" he gestured at Teal'c – "is one of their soldiers. They say he fights on their side, against the demons."

"We'd like to form an alliance," Daniel said helpfully.

The official looked him over with an expression of such disdain that he was hard-pressed not to hide behind Teal'c. "What kind of alliance?" he asked coolly.

"The kind where we exchange technology and team up to fight the goa'uld," Jack replied, his tone identical to the official's. 

"They haven't tried to kill me yet, sir," said Nuril. "Seems safe enough."

"Is it worth it?"

"Don't know yet, sir. Haven't tested their weapons."

"Test them." The official addressed Jack. "If your weapons are effective, we have an agreement."

Jack blinked. "Well, that was easy."

**

Nuril led them back through winding hallways, then outside into a courtyard. He immediately drew Jack to one side and started questioning him about the P-90, and Jack questioned him back about his rifle. Tuning out the military-speak, Daniel turned to Sam and Teal'c. "This is a really bad idea."

"The first part is working out okay," Sam pointed out. "We appear to be in their military complex, and according to Dad it's the only one they have, so Charlie must be here somewhere. We just have to find him."

"And that'll sure be easy. That's before we break him out and find our way out of this maze and back to the Stargate, which is miles and miles away."

"You are not usually so pessimistic, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c intoned.

"I prefer to think of it as realistic," Daniel muttered, "and someone has to be."

Further discussion was halted by Nuril, who marched up to them and said without enthusiasm, "Your weapons are sufficient. When would you like to begin the exchange?"

Daniel looked past Nuril to Jack, raised his eyebrows. Jack shrugged.

"We can start as soon as possible," Carter said, stepping between Daniel and Nuril. "We'd like to learn something about your culture first, though."

"Our... culture? We are a simple people. We were forced to learn to fight when the demons began coming through the ring. They took many of us. We will wipe the demons from existence and those that are missing will be returned to us." For the first time, Nuril smiled – a scary fanatical smile that made Daniel shudder. "We have one of them in captivity."

Jack's expression froze. "Really?"

"Yes. We are questioning him to learn the whereabouts of our missing people."

"You're holding him here?"

"Yes."

"Hmm." Jack managed to fit a truckload of contempt in that one sound.

"What do you mean, 'hmm'?"

"Nothing. It's just, what I've seen of this place, it's pretty nice. Not really the best place for a prisoner."

"The prisoner is in the north wing. The prison wing. It is not a 'nice place'."

Jack smiled thinly. "Is that so."

"S- speaking of goa'ulds," Daniel said hurriedly, "it would probably behove you to know that, er, there are a race of, of similar beings that are working to destroy them. They're our allies, maybe they could ally with you as well."

"'Behove you'?" Jack repeated, scowling. "And, shut up, Daniel."

Nuril had stopped smiling. "Similar beings?"

"Y-yes. The Tok'ra. They-"

"Liars!" Nuril spat. "You befriend the snakes?"

"This does not bode well," said Teal'c, very quietly.

"No, they, no, they're not, they –"

"You will pay," Nuril hissed, and slapped something on his wrist. 

A blue glow shot out from the walls of the courtyard, bathing them in light. The last thing Daniel heard before sinking to the ground and passing out was Jack, growling, "Nice one, Jackson."

**

The floor was cold. Very cold. And hard. Probably made of concrete. Why was he lying on a concrete floor? Maybe if he could get his eyes to open, he could figure out what was going on.

"Danny?"

Ooh, someone that knew his name. He wasn't alone, then. That was nice.

"Daniel."

It was Jack! He should respond. Hi, Jack, he tried to say, but all that came out was, "Gnn."

"That's it, Daniel, Danny, open your eyes. C'mon, Space Monkey, wake up."

Maybe he could use his hands to pry open his eyes. Hmm, that was interesting, his hands were tied behind his back. And his jacket was missing, which probably meant that all his equipment was missing too. So, they had been captured, tied up and thrown into what was probably some kind of cell, without jackets for some reason – _again_. And it was his fault. Next time Jack told him to shut up, maybe he would listen. Probably not, though.

"Damn it, Daniel, would you wake up?"

He opened his eyes, and immediately regretted it. Light sent spears of pain shooting through his head. "Gahh," he groaned, squeezing his eyes shut again.

"About time."

He opened one eye again, just a slit, and saw Jack kneeling above him, also jacketless, also with his arms behind his back. He was smiling. Frankly, Daniel didn't know what he'd found to smile about, but at least one of them was happy. "Uh. Oh. I feel sick."

"It'll pass."

"Thank you for that." Daniel wasn't sure he had achieved the level of sarcasm he'd been aiming for, but he was too busy fighting nausea and a splitting headache to try again. "My head hurts."

"Yeah. That doesn't pass. Gets a bit more manageable, though."

"Gnn." He rolled his head from side to side, taking in the surroundings. They were in a cell, for sure. It was normal-sized room, with a normal door in one wall, but everything was made of concrete and there was a faint purple shimmer in the air all around the walls. Teal'c sat in one corner near the shimmer, watching him impassively. Sam lay to his right, and Jack shuffled over to her and started coaxing her to consciousness the same way he had coaxed Daniel.

"Come on, Carter, time to wake up. That's an order, Major."

"Jack, do you suppose we can reason with these people?"

"I have mixed feelings on that one, Daniel. That's it, Major, open your eyes. On the one hand, we're still alive. On the other, we're in a cell tied up with barbed wire, and they think we're in cahoots with the goa'uld. Don't be a wimp, Major, open your damn eyes."

Nice of Jack not to mention that it was his fault they were prisoners. Wait a minute... "Barbed wire?"

"Yeah. I guess they haven't invented handcuffs yet. Don't move around too much, you'll just cut yourself."

"But – that's just so... _mean_."

Sam groaned, opened her eyes.

"Nice one, Carter!" Jack was smiling again, with relief, Daniel now realised. "You look like hell."

"You too, sir," she mumbled, closing her eyes again.

"Now, Major. I'm your superior officer. Superior officers never look as bad as their subordinates."

"Sorry, sir."

"Let's try again. You look like hell."

"You're ruggedly handsome, as always, sir."

"Thank you, Major. Don't sit up just yet, and don't try to get loose."

"Yes, sir." 

"Now that we're all present and accounted for, Teal'c, if you'd come over here."

"The nausea passes, the headache doesn't," Daniel told Sam helpfully, as Teal'c shuffled over to Jack. She grimaced at him.

Daniel watched from his semi-comfortable position on the floor as Teal'c shuffled over to Jack and turned his back to him, allowing the Colonel to examine his bonds. Jack obviously hadn't been following his own advice to keep his arms still: his wrists and hands were covered in blood.

"Hold still," Jack ordered. "They just twisted the wire around a few times instead of soldering it together or anything, so I think I can get you loose." He shuffled around until he and Teal'c were back to back, and set about freeing the Jaffa, muttering the occasional, "Ouch, damn it!"

"Why am I even here?" Daniel asked suddenly, when watching Jack wince had lost its entertainment value, but he still hadn't mustered the energy to move.

"What do you mean?" asked Sam, who had managed to roll her head to face him, but hadn't gone further than that.

"We knew there wouldn't be any artefacts here for me to look at. We knew they spoke English. It's a purely military mission. Remind me why I didn't just stay home and catch up on some translating?"

"Because you care about Charlie?"

"And I did us a lot of good, didn't I? No," Daniel continued sadly, "I'll tell you what it is. I'm just here to be whumped on."

"'Whumped on'?" Jack repeated disbelievingly.

"Whumped on," Daniel repeated firmly. "Just watch. Before this mission is out, I will have endured a great deal of whumping."

"'Whumped on'," Jack muttered. "Of all the stupid – ow! Damn it! Hold _still_, Teal'c!"

"I am holding still, O'Neill."

"Yeah, well, not still enough – ah, here. Got it." 

Teal'c flexed his fingers for a few seconds before getting to work freeing Jack, who was gloating.

"Suckers. They think a shredded finger or two is gonna stop us from getting loose? They really are new to the world of warfare."

"We do still have to get out of the cage," Daniel reminded him.

"Pessimist."

Once loose, Jack helped Sam sit up and started untwisting the wires around her wrists, while Teal'c started on Daniel. Daniel could feel the barbs digging into his skin every now and again, but Teal'c was very gentle and careful, and eventually Daniel was free with only a scratch or two to show for it. Jack tossed Sam's wire to the ground and got to his feet, staring at the doorway.

Sam got to her feet, checked her wrists, dusted off her trousers. "I'm guessing we're surrounded by some kind of forcefield, sir?"

Teal'c picked up one of the discarded pieces of wire and tossed it at the doorway. It hit the purple shimmer with a fizzling sound, and vanished.

"Now what?" Daniel asked.

"Now we wait until someone comes through that door to question us."

"What if they don't?"

"They will."

"Assuming they do, we could be waiting for hours."

The forcefield flickered, and disappeared.

"Or not," Daniel conceded.

"Pessimist," Jack said smugly. "Carter? Teal'c?"

"After you, sir."

Jack nodded at them, and moved to stand to the right of the door, muscles tensed. The door opened, and Nuril walked in, his rifle raised. Behind him was another man, also armed.

"We have come to-"

Jack grabbed the rifle barrel with one hand, punched Nuril with the other, pulled the rifle free, clubbed Nuril with the butt, then flipped it around and shot the unknown man. The rifle made little noise, just a "phut!" sound of compressed air being released. The two men slumped to the ground. Jack picked up the weapon belonging to the stranger, tossed it to Sam. "Safety's here, trigger's here. Three settings: stun, injure, kill. Set it to stun."

"_Three_ settings?"

An expression of boyish delight flickered over Jack's face. "Yeah. Ain't it cool? Beats Star Trek with their puny two-setting phasers."

"Wherever we're going, we should go fast," Daniel urged, anxiously peering out into the hallway.

"Well, Nuril said Charlie's in the prison wing." Sam fiddled with a dial on the side of her rifle, then looked up. "I'm guessing that's where we are, so he's around here somewhere."

"Right." Jack looked up and down the hallway. "Uh... Pick a direction, Major."

"Sir, maybe we should split up?"

"Negative."

"Sir, we would cover more ground."

"You know, I remember the days when I only had to say 'negative' once. _Negative_, Major."

"Yes, sir. In that case, this way, sir."

They struck off to the right, Daniel shaking his head in disbelief. He didn't know whether to consider himself lucky or unlucky. On one hand, he and his team had been injured, nearly killed or actually killed more times than every other SGC team put together. On the other hand, they were all still alive. Somebody up there had one hell of a sense of humour, he concluded.

**

Hallways, hallways and more hallways, about the same width as those at the SGC but twice the height, with doorways every ten feet just for fun. Whoever had designed this building had probably done so with the intention of having any invaders get lost and die of starvation.

"Is it too much to ask for that they put up a map with 'you are here' written on it?" Jack complained, echoing Daniel's thoughts as they arrived at yet another junction.

Teal'c halted abruptly, head tilted to one side, frowning. "This way," he said abruptly, and began jogging down the left-hand passage.

"What? What?" Jack demanded, loping along beside him. Daniel lagged slightly behind with Carter, wincing every time his feet hit the ground. Mental note, he thought: jogging not good for headaches.

"I believe I heard a noise."

The team managed to exchange looks without stopping, tripping or running into anything, and wordlessly increased their pace.

The next time they all heard it: a wordless cry of agony in a tone that could only be a child's. They skidded to a halt, glanced at each other, and proceeded more cautiously, Jack in the lead. There was a suppressed rage on Jack's face that Daniel recognised from a very few occasions, and he felt very sorry for whoever would be on the receiving end of that anger. One of the doorways in the passage was slightly open, and it was to this door that he led them. They pressed themselves against the walls to either side. Daniel could see inside a little way: it was a small room, cluttered with shelves, with a steel table in the middle. Charlie was strapped to the table, and over him stood an imposing figure with a classic-villain moustache, holding a hand with something similar to a goa'uld hand device over the boy's midsection.

"You _will_ tell me what has become of our missing people!"

Daniel flinched at the hatred in the voice, and flinched again at Charlie's reply. He sounded hurt, tired, and very afraid.

"I don't _know_. Please. I'm not who you think I am."

"It's only a matter of time before I find out what I want to know. Why make this so hard on yourself?"

"I'm telling the truth! I'm not-" The boy's protest was cut off as a low humming started up and the hand device glowed a dull red. A moment later Charlie started screaming.

Jack burst into the room, covered the distance to the classic-villain in three strides, grabbed the man's shoulder, spun him around, and hit him very hard in the throat with the webbing between the thumb and forefinger of his right hand. The man dropped to the ground, gagging. Jack immediately started unbuckling the straps holding Charlie down, and Teal'c hurried to help him. Daniel knelt beside the man on the ground.

"Leave him," Jack said coldly. "He'll be dead in a minute anyway."

"Crushed windpipe," Sam explained. She didn't seem particularly upset by it. Daniel was shocked, until he remembered what the man had been doing not one minute ago. 

Charlie was gazing at Jack with a disbelieving expression, which was understandable, Daniel supposed.

"Jack?" the boy whispered.

"Hey, kid. Don't worry, we're getting you out of here."

"I thought you wouldn't come."

"Well, then, you're not as smart as I thought you were."

"You promised to visit," the boy said accusingly.

"Yeah, well, last time I was on a Tok'ra base, you were nowhere to be found."

Teal'c finished loosening the last strap, and Jack handed his rifle to the Jaffa and scooped Charlie into his arms. The boy didn't look much older than the last time Daniel had seen him, years ago. He assumed that had something to do with the Tok'ra symbiote sharing the boy's body. His face was bruised, bloodied, and awfully pale.

"Bastards," Daniel muttered. 

"Let's go, gang."

Teal'c led the way out, Jack went second, carrying Charlie, then Daniel, with Sam taking the rear. Teal'c had to guess at a direction, but they had only gone a few steps when Charlie waved a hand to stop them.

"That way," he said weakly, pointing.

Jack hesitated, then nodded. They backtracked. The boy led them through the maze of a building with such assurance that Daniel had to wonder if he was faking his certainty about where they should be going, but since they had no idea where they were anyway, it didn't really matter.

It felt like they'd been walking for hours, dodging into doorways every now and again to avoid an oblivious patrol. At some point they must have left the prison wing, because the concrete walls and floor had been replaced with the glistening white tiles they had encountered on entering the building. Daniel was ready to suggest finding someone and asking for directions, when Charlie murmured, "Nearly there." As if responding to his words, the building exploded with sound: sirens more strident than the SGC base alarms.

"I believe our escape has been detected."

"Ya think?" Jack unhesitatingly handed Charlie to Daniel, who took him carefully, and flexed his blood-stained hands, obviously chafing for a weapon. "Which way from here, Charlie?"

Charlie pointed. "Take the next passage left."

They rounded the corner, took two steps – and were met with a volley of gunfire. Or, to be more accurate, they were met with a volley of "phut" sounds and the sound of one actual gun firing.

"Back!" Sam yelled, hustling Daniel back around the corner. He did a mental check of himself (alive and intact), then checked Charlie (alive and no less intact than moments before). Sam was firing around the corner without looking, and Teal'c was – where was Teal'c? Where was Jack? He was just about to panic when Teal'c backed around the corner, dragging Jack by the collar of his T-shirt. 

Sam fired one last shot, then handed her rifle off to Teal'c and dropped to her knees beside Jack. He was conscious, eyes squeezed shut, writhing on the ground, breathing in shallow gasps, hands clenched into fists and pressed to his head. Daniel looked on anxiously, Charlie twisting in his arms so he could see what was happening. Teal'c resolutely continued holding off the attackers.

"Sir? Are you all right?"

"Ahh... Son of a... That hurts..."

Well, he was talking, albeit through clenched teeth, which was something. 

"Can you get up?"

"Jesus, God... Just... gimme a... second..."

"We don't have a second, sir."

Jack stopped squirming, sucked in a nearly-normal breath, and opened his eyes. "Carter... I think... it's safe to say... their weapons are _not_... set to stun."

"On the bright side, you're not dead, either," said Daniel. "And you're not bleeding, that's gotta be good."

"Jack?" Charlie sounded ready to dissolve into a gibbering mess, but was holding it together for the moment.

"I'm okay. I'm... God... Help me up." He clutched Sam's outstretched hand and she pulled him to his feet. He swayed, caught himself, and leaned against the wall, one hand pressed to his ribs.

"Where the hell did they come from?" Sam fretted. "They just appeared out of nowhere."

"One of those bastards has my gun," said Jack, voice still strained with pain. "We'll have to... have to backtrack."

"No!" Charlie stiffened in Daniel's grasp. "We have to go through there, it's the only way to get out of the city."

Jack stared at him for a moment, then nodded. "Carter, can you and Teal'c...?"

Teal'c ceased firing potshots and turned to them. "I dropped my weapon when retrieving you, O'Neill."

"Well, that's..." Daniel trailed off. "Um, Teal'c, you're bleeding." He was, too: the side of his T-shirt that had been turned away from them was soaked with blood.

Teal'c was unmoved. "Yes. I was shot by the man who appropriated O'Neill's gun."

"God, Teal'c! I didn't notice!" Sam was horrified. "I'm so sorry."

"No time for sorry, Major, take the gun and start shooting." As Sam obeyed, Jack pushed himself away from the wall, wincing. He was slightly hunched over, but caught the worried look Charlie was giving him and straightened. "Teal'c, how bad is it?"

"I will survive for the moment, O'Neill, and I can walk." 

Good old Teal'c, always a stoic.

"Good enough."

Sam risked taking a peek around the corner, and quickly pulled back, grinning. "Got two of them, sir! Although to be fair, that may have been Teal'c. Two left."

"Can you take 'em?"

"Yes, sir. They may be well-armed but they're about the worst soldiers I've ever seen. They're just crouched right in the middle of the corridor, no attempts to take cover. It's like they know the basic idea behind having an army, but have no practical skills at implementing it."

"Take them out before reinforcements get here." Jack ruffled Charlie's hair reassuringly. "With luck their backup system is as useless as the rest of the military mock-up they've got going here."

Sam stepped out so that she was only half covered by the wall, fired two shots – and dropped as an errant shot from the useless soldiers hit her. 

"Damn it!" Jack checked around the corner. "Their luck – they got her at the same time she got them." He knelt next to her with obvious difficulty, put his hand to her neck. "She's alive. Looks like at least one of them had his gun set to stun." He straightened slowly. "Daniel, you'll have to carry her. I can manage Charlie, but that's about it."

Daniel nodded, gave Charlie to Jack, and, after a bit of manoeuvring, managed to hoist Sam onto his shoulder in a fireman's lift. As soon as he was sure he wasn't about to fall over, he nodded to Jack, and they resumed their interrupted journey down the corridor, stepping around the fallen soldiers on the way.

At the end of the passage Charlie pointed them to a door. Teal'c, who was leading simply because he had no one to carry, opened it, and they stepped through to...

"We're outside!" Daniel observed. It was the enclosure in which they had landed on their arrival, and the five aircraft were still there, exuding an air of smugness. It was raining. Damn those paranoid morons for taking their jackets away. It occurred to him that he was the only member of the team that _hadn't_ been whumped on so far. Possibly he had an alternate "teammate-carrying" function when none of his other skills came in handy. 

Shouts echoing from the passage behind them reminded him and the rest of the team that there was still plenty of time to be whumped. No one needed to give an order; everyone moved automatically to the nearest craft. It was then that Daniel realised _why_ the crafts looked smug: none of them had an open door. "Uh... does anyone remember how to get into this thing?"

"Panel on the side," Charlie mumbled.

Teal'c stepped up to the craft, examined it minutely, then reached out and touched a spot that, to Daniel, looked exactly the same as everything else. A small panel retracted, revealing a row of buttons just begging to be pressed. Teal'c pressed one. Nothing happened.

"Red, green, red," Charlie supplied.

Teal'c pressed the buttons in the given order, and a ramp extended and slammed down, followed by a door sliding open.

"Sweet." Jack led the way up, followed by Daniel staggering under Sam's weight, followed by Teal'c, who was just staggering.

Inside, Jack gently deposited Charlie on one of the benches before slumping into the pilot's seat. Daniel lowered Sam to the floor, peripherally aware of Teal'c collapsing onto a bench opposite Charlie.

Daniel slid into the seat beside Jack, blinking at the bewildering controls, running a hand through his rain-soaked hair. "Um..."

Jack smiled wanly, already flicking switches and touching buttons, apparently at random. "Hey," he said. "This is gonna be fun."

"Jack, do you have any idea what you're doing?"

"For crying out loud, Daniel. Do you think I'd try something like this without knowing anything about it?" 

Daniel said nothing, merely raised one eyebrow – or tried, anyway. He ended up raising both.

Jack glanced at him, nodded. "Okay, point taken. But I was watching on the way over here, remember? I think this..." He pressed another button, and the ramp retracted.

"O'Neill," Teal'c called from the back. "Our pursuers are approaching the craft."

"Keep your shirt on," Jack muttered, flicked another switch, hit another button. The door slammed shut, the engine started up. "Yes! Okay. Now..." He frowned at the controls, hesitantly pulled a lever. The craft shot vertically upwards and hovered about three feet above the level of the fences. Looking down, Daniel could see soldiers gaping up at them. A few were clued up enough to run to the remaining four craft. 

"I don't mean to pressure you, Jack, but..."

Jack pressed another lever, and a joystick-style control slid out from underneath all the other controls. He gripped it, and pushed it forward. The craft responded by hurtling forward so fast that Daniel clapped his hands over his eyes so that he wouldn't have to see the ground whizzing past. Stupid see-through panelling, whose idea was that? "All right," Jack crowed. "Now we're talking. And if I remember, the 'gate is... _that_ way."

Daniel didn't want to watch, but he sure as hell couldn't stop himself. His fingers spread against his will and he found himself peering through the gaps. To distract himself from the transparent floor, he focused on the controls. A screen showed something that looked suspiciously like radar. One green dot was at the centre, and three red dots were approaching it from behind. "Uh, Jack? This display... Three red thingies and a green thingy... I think we're the green thingy... We're being followed."

"Look for any button that could fire a weapon and press it," Jack ordered without turning.

Daniel obediently searched the control panel. A few buttons looked promising. He pressed a blue one. The craft spun around 180 degrees, and suddenly they were flying back toward the pursuing craft. "So that's how he did that!" Daniel exclaimed. "I was so impressed with his flying skill! Cheat."

"Daniel!" The craft lurched from side to side as Jack dodged some kind of laser fire from the enemies. "Find the button that does that!"

"Sorry, sorry." He pressed all the other promising buttons simultaneously. The craft shuddered, and three missiles streaked out, heading straight for the bad guys. Then he pressed the blue button again, they did another 180 turn, and were back on track for the Stargate. From behind them came the sound of three missiles impacting with their targets.

"Nice shooting."

"Thank you."

"Press that blue button again and I'll kill you."

"Sorry."

**

They reached the gate free of pursuit, though Daniel felt a flicker of worry at the prospect of landing. As it turned out, the feeling was unfounded, although the landing wasn't a very good one. They thumped to the ground and skidded, bounced, spun a few times, and came to a halt. The motion had been enough to throw Daniel out of his seat, wedging him between the seat and the side of the craft and bouncing his head off the control panel. As soon as they were fully at rest, he leapt to his feet, fell down again, and got up more slowly, clutching his head. 

Jack was already up. "Let's go, Danny-boy, no time for messing around."

Daniel was getting pretty good at the fireman's carry thing; this time he got Sam over his shoulder without nearly dropping her, even taking the few steps to the door while lifting her into place. He made it down the ramp, which was slippery from the rain, without incident, and was pleased to find that Jack had landed them right next to the DHD. Teal'c was already dialling home. The second the wormhole was open Jack put Charlie down and started entering the code on his GDO. Daniel had just relaxed slightly when the grass around them started exploding. A split-second of puzzlement was followed by realisation as the one remaining aircraft shot over their heads, executed that cheat version of a spin, and made another run at them, strafing the ground with bright pink laser fire.

Fortunately, they were even worse shots than Jaffa in death gliders, and by the time Jack shouted, "Clear! Let's move!", they were all still intact. They bolted to the 'gate.

**

"Close the iris!" Daniel was relieved to see that good ol' General Hammond had a medical team waiting. The iris slid shut behind him as the medics swarmed the ramp. Teal'c sat down heavily, then lay back, closing his eyes. Dr Fraiser dashed up and knelt next to him, shouting orders that Daniel couldn't understand to her team.

"Take him, take him take him take him," Jack said urgently. A medic took Charlie, and Jack promptly collapsed. 

A medic eased Sam off Daniel's shoulders and started checking her out. Another stood in front of him. "Dr Jackson? Are you all right?"

The question opened a floodgate of pain. The headache he had been ignoring for the past hour or two returned with a vengeance, exhaustion kicked in, and suddenly he was very, very dizzy. Secure in the knowledge that the medic would catch him before he hit the ramp, he passed out.

**

Jack's heart sank even before he was fully awake. He recognised the sounds and smells that surrounded him, the feeling of the bed on which he lay, the fuzziness in his head that meant he was doped up. The infirmary. Again. Great. He reluctantly opened his eyes. Yep. The infirmary, all right, he'd know that ceiling anywhere. "Damn," he muttered.

Doc Fraiser's face appeared in his field of vision, wearing her sympathetic maternal smile. He grimaced.

"Hello, Colonel, glad to see you're back with us." She produced a mug with a straw, helped him sip. "How are you feeling?"

"Like shit," he said truthfully. 

"Pain?"

"No." She had obviously been free with the painkillers. He rolled his head from side to side, searching for his team, and was surprised to see that a bed was pulled up right next to his. Charlie was curled up under the covers, asleep. He gave the doc an enquiring look.

"He insisted," she said. "Wouldn't settle down unless he could see you."

"How is he?"

"He's fine. A few cuts and bruises. His symbiote has him almost fully healed already. "

"They were torturing him," Jack said bitterly.

"I know. Ordinarily I'd be worried about psychological repercussions, but apparently the symbiote is acting as something of a psychologist as well, and he's a tough kid. I think he'll be okay."

Jack made a mental note to talk to the boy anyway, just to make sure he was dealing with everything. "Guess I won't have to kill Jacob after all." He reached out to touch Charlie's hair, and realised his hand and wrist were bandaged. Both of them, in fact. "...The hell?"

"Lacerations," the doc said succinctly. "I had to throw in a few stitches. Teal'c had some too, and Major Carter and Daniel had a few scratches. What, did they tie you up with barbed wire or something?"

"As a matter of fact..." Jack looked past Charlie to the other beds in the infirmary, all of which were occupied by members of his team. "What's the verdict?" he asked.

She seemed delighted to be able to slip into exposition mode. "Your entire torso is one big bruise. It's like someone hit you with a giant fist. You've got three broken ribs and three cracked ribs, a bit of internal bruising, and like I said the lacerations on your hands and wrists, but all in all this will probably be one of your shorter stays with us."

"I know about me, Doc." He gestured to the other beds. "I meant them."

"Right. Well, Major Carter is fine. I don't know why she was unconscious when you brought her through, but whatever it was didn't leave any physical marks and she woke up briefly a while ago. She had quite a headache. I'm keeping her overnight for observation, although as exhausted as she was I don't think I'd be able to get her out of bed even if I wanted to."

"Stun gun," Jack explained. "I think Teal'c brought one back."

"Which brings us to our favourite Jaffa. He was shot with a normal gun, no fancy stun weapons for him. He lost a lot of blood, but the bullet didn't hit anything vital. He'll be just fine."

"Good. Daniel?"

An expression of embarrassment mixed with annoyance supplanted the doc's smile. "He collapsed in the 'gate room. The idiot medic that was standing _right in front_ of him didn't catch him, so what probably started out as a mild concussion has now been upgraded to moderate. Still, Dr Jackson has a hard head, and as long as he takes it easy for the next few days, he'll be fine too. Although, you were all soaking wet when you got back, and I think he's developing a cold." She beamed at him. "I think you're getting better at this, Colonel. For once no one has any life-threatening injuries. It's a pleasant change."

"Nothing to do with me. They were the worst damn soldiers I've ever seen."

"And yet not one of you made it back fully intact."

"Just another day at work," Jack yawned. "Same ol' same ol'. General Hammond must be itching for a debriefing."

"Yeah, but I told him to wait until tomorrow." She patted him on the shoulder. "Get some rest."

The day ended like too many others, with Colonel Jack O'Neill falling asleep in the infirmary surrounded by the rest of his team. This time, however, none of them were in any danger of dying, and the tiniest hint of satisfaction could be read in his smile. At least tomorrow he wouldn't have to face the airman whose name he didn't know. Thank heaven for small mercies, he thought, and closed his eyes. What the hell kind of name was Zyxynsky, anyway?


End file.
